Keeping It Real

I have grown to really quite enjoy blogging ever since I started almost three years ago.  I have fallen in love for many different reasons, but amongst the top being as though it gives me an escape when I find myself too much in my own head.  Similar to reading an excellent book, I can loose myself in a rough draft.  When I return from my mental escape, I tend to feel better about myself, and have a more positive outlook on life in general.  Another reason behind my growing love for blogging is having a safe place to document life's happenings.  Life as a mother, wife, crafter, and friend. Basically just life as a simple human.  Although I'm most definitely more of an "old-school" pen and paper kind of gal, I have great confidence the Internet isn't going anywhere.  Therefore, I find comfort in knowing our documented memories are safe here for a lifetime.  Additionally, unlike {my personal experiences} keeping a hand-written journal, I've been pretty successful at keeping the blog a positive place.  In the thick of these positive posts, however, I like to "keep it real" every now and again, and post about the reality of our day-to-day life.  Why do I do this?  In my own view, I believe it's important to remind myself, and hopefully my children {if they one day read our blog} that life isn't meant to always be easy.  Things wont consistently go our way, life will occasionally get off track, and not always will we end up where we strive to be. And that's perfectly OK.
How did we end up in this tiny tiny town of Broadus, MT? Is it going to be what we have hoped it would be?  This move has been tough on our marriage, but I can feel it pulling us closer together as well.  Zacary and I love each other with all we have.  We have a unique relationship, that's for certain.  It's rare for us to have what I consider to be an actual fight, or even for us to make a big deal out of simple disagreements.  Our marriage, like any other, is not perfect in any way.  We deal with our fair share of annoyances, stresses and conflicts.  I complain he doesn't talk to me enough.  He claims he talks to me more than he talks with anyone else.  I criticize him for the amount of time he spends not helping with household chores.  He grumbles about how I never take the time to stop and enjoy doing nothing while we are all simply home together.  One of the main reasons we decided to take this plunge and move so far away was so we could just do us for awhile.  Be a family of four, on an adventure, just us.  I can feel it improving our relationship, but at the same time I feel my individual happiness slipping.  During the hours I'm left with only my own thoughts and the conversations between myself and my three year old are the hardest hours.  The days will get easier as time goes on, I have to believe this.  It is a temporary adventure in the lifetime Zacary and I committed to each other.  I hope a lifetime is a long time, and this journey will be small when compared to time.
As far as my days as a mother, I am growing an incredible bond with my two sons.  I'm trying to be more patient as I am aware my fuse can run rather short a lot of the time.  There are so many qualities I strive to improve upon as a mother, there is no better time than now to really work on this. "Let them be little," is something I say to myself repetitively throughout the days. But, I am also raising my boys to have respect someday.  There is a fine line, I am learning.     
Life is not perfect. It's a scary, rewarding adventure.  I don't know what I am doing or how I will get through most of the days out here, but I'm doing by best to keep a positive attitude for myself and my family.  It wont ever work if I don't let it.  I have to believe, as long as we are constantly working to be the best self we can be, and giving life our all, the rest will work itself out.   

My reasons behind most everything I do.